Social media has become part of our everyday lives. We use it to connect with others, keep up with current events, share experiences and unwind. But when does scrolling become more than just a habit?
For some people, social media use can become difficult to control, affecting their concentration, relationships, sleep and emotional wellbeing.
I recently joined Dubai Eye to discuss social media addiction, exploring why we can find ourselves repeatedly reaching for our phones, how our digital habits can influence our mental health, and what we can do to develop a healthier relationship with social media.
As a psychotherapist specialising in addiction, I believe it is important to look beyond the behaviour itself and understand the psychological and emotional needs that may be driving it.
Below is a short clip from the discussion. For further insights into the psychology behind social media use, its potential impact on our wellbeing, and practical strategies for developing healthier digital habits, read on.
When Does Social Media Use Become a Problem?
Spending time on social media does not automatically mean someone has an addiction. However, our use can become problematic when it starts to interfere with everyday life or feels increasingly difficult to control.
You might recognise some of the following patterns:
Difficulty switching off: You intend to scroll for a few minutes but find yourself online for much longer than planned.
Automatic checking: You repeatedly reach for your phone without consciously deciding to do so.
Seeking validation: Your mood becomes closely linked to likes, comments, views or how others respond to your posts.
Emotional avoidance: You use social media to distract yourself from stress, loneliness, anxiety or uncomfortable thoughts.
Comparison and self-criticism: You regularly compare your appearance, relationships, career or lifestyle with what you see online.
Negative consequences: Your use affects your sleep, concentration, relationships, work or ability to be present.
An important question to consider is not simply how much time you spend online, but what role social media is playing in your life.
Why Is Social Media So Difficult to Put Down?
Social media platforms offer a continuous stream of new content, notifications and opportunities for interaction. The anticipation of discovering something interesting, receiving a message or seeing how others have responded to us can encourage repeated checking.
Over time, this behaviour can become habitual.
You might automatically open an app when you feel bored, experience an uncomfortable emotion or have a moment between tasks. What begins as a conscious choice can gradually become an almost unconscious response.
This does not mean that everyone who checks their phone frequently has an addiction. However, understanding how habits develop can help us recognise when our relationship with social media is no longer serving us.
It is also important to consider our individual circumstances. Stress, loneliness, anxiety, low self-esteem and the need for reassurance can all influence how we use digital platforms.
For some people, social media is not simply entertainment. It becomes a way of managing how they feel.
The Psychology Behind Social Media Use: What Are We Trying to Escape?
In addiction therapy, I am interested in understanding not only the behaviour itself but also the purpose it serves.
Behaviours that become difficult to control often begin by meeting a particular need. They may provide temporary relief, comfort, excitement, distraction or a sense of connection.
Social media can serve a similar function.
For example:
Stress and overwhelm: You finish a demanding day and turn to scrolling because it provides an immediate distraction from work-related pressure.
Loneliness: You spend time online seeking connection, but afterwards you may still feel disconnected from the people around you.
Anxiety: You repeatedly check notifications or messages because you want reassurance that everything is okay.
Low self-esteem: You look for external validation through likes, comments or positive responses to your posts.
Avoidance: You reach for your phone whenever you need to start a difficult task, have an uncomfortable conversation or sit with an emotion you would rather not experience.
In the moment, these behaviours may provide relief. The difficulty is that the relief is often temporary, leaving the original feeling unresolved.
A cycle can develop:
Uncomfortable emotion → Reach for phone → Temporary relief → Emotion returns → Reach for phone again.
The more frequently we rely on a behaviour to regulate our emotions, the more automatic that response can become.
This is why simply telling ourselves to spend less time on social media does not always address the underlying issue.
If scrolling has become a way of coping with anxiety, loneliness, perfectionism or stress, it is important to explore these experiences alongside the behaviour itself.
How Can Social Media Affect Our Mental Health?
Our relationship with social media can influence how we see ourselves, how we relate to others and how we experience everyday life.
1. Comparison and Self-Esteem
Social media often presents carefully selected versions of people's lives. We see holidays, achievements, relationships, career milestones and carefully curated photographs, frequently without the context of what is happening behind the scenes.
When we compare our everyday experiences with someone else's highlights, we can begin to feel as though we are falling behind.
For people who already struggle with perfectionism or self-criticism, this can be particularly challenging.
We might question whether we are successful enough, attractive enough, productive enough or living the life we should be living.
Over time, repeated comparison can influence how we evaluate ourselves and our own achievements.
2. Anxiety and the Need for Reassurance
For some people, social media becomes closely linked to reassurance-seeking.
They may repeatedly check whether someone has responded to a message, monitor engagement with their posts or worry about how others perceive them online.
Although checking can temporarily reduce uncertainty, the relief may not last. This can create a pattern in which reassurance is repeatedly sought without addressing the underlying anxiety.
Learning to tolerate uncertainty and develop a more stable sense of self-worth can help break this cycle.
3. Sleep and Concentration
Scrolling late into the evening can delay bedtime, while notifications and the urge to check for updates can make it harder to switch off.
Frequent interruptions can also affect concentration, particularly when we move repeatedly between work, conversations and digital content.
When every quiet moment becomes an opportunity to reach for our phones, we may have fewer opportunities to rest, reflect or simply allow ourselves to be bored.
4. Connection Versus Disconnection
Social media can be a valuable way to maintain friendships, build communities and stay connected, particularly when living away from family and friends.
However, online interaction does not always meet our need for meaningful connection.
It is possible to spend hours interacting with content while still feeling lonely or disconnected.
The important question is whether social media is helping us build meaningful connections or becoming a substitute for the relationships and experiences we need.
Six Ways to Build a Healthier Relationship With Social Media
The goal does not necessarily need to be eliminating social media altogether. For many people, a more realistic approach is to develop greater awareness of their habits and make more intentional choices about their digital lives.
1. Identify Your Triggers
Start noticing when you reach for your phone.
Are you bored, anxious, lonely or stressed? Do you tend to scroll when you wake up, before bed or when you are avoiding a particular task?
Try to identify the feeling or situation that comes before the behaviour.
The aim is not to judge yourself but to understand your pattern.
2. Pause Before Opening an App
When you notice the urge to check social media, pause and ask yourself:
What am I feeling right now?
What am I hoping to get from opening this app?
Am I making a conscious choice, or is this an automatic habit?
Is there another way I could meet this need?
You do not have to resist every urge. The aim is to create space between the urge and your response so that you can make a more conscious decision.
3. Establish Boundaries
Consider introducing small, manageable changes.
You might turn off non-essential notifications, keep your phone away during meals, establish a phone-free period before bed or avoid checking social media immediately after waking up.
You could also set specific times to check certain apps rather than opening them throughout the day.
Small, consistent changes are often easier to sustain than attempting to change every habit overnight.
4. Develop Alternative Coping Strategies
If social media has become your primary way of coping with difficult emotions, consider what else might help.
Depending on your needs, this could include exercise, journalling, speaking to a friend, spending time outdoors, engaging in a hobby or practising relaxation techniques.
The intention is not simply to remove a behaviour but to develop a wider range of ways to manage emotions and meet your needs.
5. Be Mindful of Comparison
Notice how you feel after spending time on particular accounts or platforms.
Do you feel inspired and connected, or do you tend to feel inadequate, anxious or dissatisfied with your own life?
Consider unfollowing accounts that consistently leave you feeling worse about yourself and engaging with content that feels meaningful or positive.
Remember that what you see online is only part of someone's story.
6. Seek Support When You Need It
If your social media use feels increasingly difficult to control, affects your relationships or wellbeing, or becomes your primary way of managing distress, speaking to a mental health professional may help.
Therapy can provide an opportunity to explore the emotional and psychological factors contributing to the behaviour, understand the patterns keeping it going and develop healthier coping strategies.
You do not need to wait until a behaviour reaches crisis point before seeking support.
Is Social Media Addiction a Recognised Diagnosis?
The term social media addiction is widely used, but it is important to distinguish between problematic social media use and a formally recognised clinical diagnosis.
Some people experience patterns resembling addictive behaviours, including persistent urges, difficulty reducing their use and continuing despite negative consequences. However, social media addiction is not currently a formally recognised diagnosis in the same way as established addictive disorders.
Time spent online alone does not determine whether someone's use is problematic.
A more useful starting point is to consider the individual's experience: how much control they feel they have, what purpose the behaviour serves and whether it is negatively affecting their life.
This allows us to move away from shame and judgement towards a more compassionate understanding of behaviour.
My Dubai Eye Interview on Social Media Addiction
I was pleased to join Dubai Eye to discuss social media addiction and explore the relationship between our digital habits, emotional wellbeing and mental health.
As a psychotherapist specialising in addiction, I believe that understanding the reasons behind a behaviour is an important part of creating meaningful and sustainable change.
Final Thoughts: Understanding the Behaviour, Not Just Restricting It
Social media is not inherently harmful. It can help us connect, learn, express ourselves and find communities that make us feel less alone.
The difficulty arises when our relationship with it starts to feel less like a choice and more like something we struggle to control.
Rather than focusing exclusively on reducing screen time, it can be helpful to ask ourselves what we are seeking when we reach for our phones.
Are we looking for connection, reassurance, distraction or relief from something uncomfortable?
Understanding these underlying needs can be an important step towards building healthier habits and developing alternative ways of coping.
Ultimately, the aim is not to judge ourselves for using social media. It is to develop a relationship with it that supports our wellbeing rather than detracts from it.